Dear Universe,
This past Friday, I made the ultimate sacrifice of my own feelings and decided to do what was best for Annabelle and give her a new home. It hurt. I won’t lie. It cut me deep and hard. But, I know, deep down, that it was the right decision to make. I’m positive she’ll find a fantastic home and will live a happy, long, healthy life.
After spending time with a good friend this weekend, I realized I was repeating the same behavior I had in my last relationship, in my relationship with Annabelle. I was afraid to let go, trying to cling to the impossible notion that things will sort themselves out, magically. Silly, right? I’ve done quite a bit of self-analyzing recently and it was time to do what needed to be done, and accept the pain as a learning experience. Letting go doesn’t mean to stop loving. In fact, I love her very much and will always love her. She taught me so many great life lessons, such as patience, courage, strength. I hope, even though she’s a dog, that she’ll remember all the happy, fun times we had together. Now seems an appropriate time for a quote from one of my favorite films, Fried Green Tomatoes.
“A heart can be broken, but it still keeps a’beatin’ just the same”.
So true. Due to the events of Friday, I feel the need to keep peace within myself. To take some time to self reflect, sort out old demons, and cleanse my soul. Jack needs my undivided attention right now. He’s going to start to get confused with the absence of his little friend. But, he’s been stressed out for so long due to home issues that maybe this is what he needs right now, too. Just momma and Jack time. I need to find my center, get back on track with my exercising and training, and find my inner peace. One day at a time, right?
I don’t believe in locking up the keys and throwing away everything that ever belonged to Annabelle. So instead, I’m going to post some of my most favorite memories of her to remember her by. She will definitely find a happy home and have many more happy memories. But, I will always be her first momma, the one who gave her a chance, and loved her so so much.
