Happiness. What a heavy word. What a consuming, heavy word. Happiness is not about making everyone else happy. Happiness is not about keeping the peace between boyfriend and family. Happiness isn’t about how much you make or who said what or whether or not you can afford that new T.V. And if that IS what happiness is about, then it’s a pretty damn pathetic existence, isn’t it?
Welcome to my world. Now bite me.
Today, a co-worker pasted away. She was 87 and had been battling cancer for over a year. The surprising part is that she didn’t die from the cancer, she died from a massive stroke. She was the longest-running employee of my company, having been here since the beginning. I feel a sense of great lose, even thought I knew only a little about her life. I knew she was jewish. I knew she had grown children. I knew her husband was a doctor. I also found out that she was not ready to die.
Dying is a scary thought for most of us to grasp. Reaching the end of our existence. Is there life beyond death? Is this really the end? Did I do everything that I wanted to do? Will anyone miss me?
I knew a boy in high school that battled with depression and was bi-polar. He took his own life at the age of 19. I still think about him from time to time. How strange he seemed? I remember wondering why he was “so” different. People are often misunderstood in life.
I guess what I’m trying to say is…I will remember you, Jackie. Wherever you are now, you are missed. And you are remembered.
Brandi
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